That was the only applicable title I could even think of for this post, considering that this is one of the most blindingly shiny Prada handbags I have ever seen in all my born days.  I mean seriously, is this supposed to double as a reflector or something? The Prada Black Patent Leather Quilted tote bag could probably safely signal planes in for a landing, that’s how frigging bright it is. It is safe to say, though, that its patented patent leather shininess is by far not the only issue I have with this abomination trying to pass itself off as a purse.

For one thing, in addition to searing your corneas, you could safely hide a body in this Prada bag.  This is huge!  It is HUGE.  It is positively ginormous and when combined with its distracting sheen, I personally think this purse becomes a serious safety hazard.  Say you’re walking down the street with this bag, right?  It could catch and reflect the sun at just the wrong time, and send a ray of light into a passing driver’s eyes.  Or, someone in a car could see you lugging this humongous eyesore down the street and get so caught up in gaping at it and wondering just what you’re carrying around in there that he or she crashes into a stop sign or something.

Besides that, the quilted thing just gets to me.  I don’t get quilted bags, I don’t like most of them.  I think the designers behind this thought that they could make the quilted angle look chic by doing it up in patent leather.  They were way off the mark.  The verdict?  I think they ended up with the kind of granny bag befitting either a grandmother like Blanche from the Golden Girls or for one of Monty Python’s Hell’s Grannies.